How nice of you to drop by.

With my complete knowledge of the English alphabet, 17,232-word vocabulary and a blackbelt in punctuation, I can add words to just about any sheet of paper you give me. Click through these titles at your leisure.

As seen at McSweeney's Internet Tendency

• List: Secure Website Authentification Questions
• New Food Review: Coke and Milk
• New Food Review: Stagg Chili's Classic Chili with Beans

Odd humor

• Vision Statement for Me
• Footnote Manifesto
• The State of Craigslist Singles

Lists from The Anvil

• Best Excuses to Avoid Gardening
• Least Believable Hollywood Rumors
• Most Effective Ways to Liven up a Funeral

Creative non-fiction

• Coping with Sport Illiteracy: It's not just a Day at the Beach
• Beer Story
• Kodachrome Dreams

This damn Hitchcock obsession

• How a Hitchcock Blond Changed the Way I Look at Movies
• Strangers on a Train: Sometimes a Cigarette Lighter is Just a Cigarette Lighter
• How Hitchcock Always Got the Last Word in

Book Reviews in The Oregonian

• "Spellbound by Beauty"
  

Editorial Features from Vox

• Grand Theft Youth
• Youth Marketing Flame War!
• The Death of Network News as We Know it
• Point, Click, Counterpoint: Pipe Dreams about the Role of New Media in the Presidential Debates

Commerce Magazine -- "Minority Report," a three-part series

• Minorities in Oregon's Workplace: The Employment Issue that Dares not Speak its Name
• Civil Rights and Uncivil Lefts – Opportunities and Challenges for Oregon's Professional Minorities
• Riding the Pipeline: What Two Groups are doing to Create the Next Generation of Women and Minority Leaders