Saturday, June 16, 2007

Gunz Metrics Releases State of the Craigslist Singles 2006

By Joel Gunz
Originally appeared in The Anvil

72 percent of women seeking men on Craigslist express a desire to "conversate," and 34 percent argue with their cats twice per week. These and other statistics are revealed in Gunz Metrics' new report, State of the Craigslist Singles 2006.

The objective of the survey was to find a height-weight proportionate (HWP) female for friendship and possibly more. Eligible respondents were restricted to college-educated females with a thorough knowledge of French New Wave cinema, 36C bust line (or larger)1 and at least one toe ring. Further, candidates were eliminated from participation based on membership in the National Republican Party, ability to line dance/do the Electric Slide, and/or preference for White Zinfandel.

Although some subjects changed their identities -- sometimes as many as three times -- in order to make it through the screening process,2 it was concluded that approximately 212 separate women participated in the study. 3

Activity was measured in three areas: Click-through (CT) rates, engagement in the Craigslist Relationship Management (CRM) cycle and, of course, closed transactions. Interviews were conducted by email, on the telephone and at the lounge at the Red Lion Airport hotel.

Subject Line
It was determined that phrasing the subject line of the ad as a question rather than as a declaration produced the best results. Hence, "Do you read Fortean Times? Are you a good kisser?" (12 percent click-through) yielded better results than "You be the showgirl. I'll be Sinatra." (6.3 percent CT). "Want to come upstairs and see my tattoo?" (15.8 percent CT) pulled better than "Blah blah blah smart blah sexy" (.3 percent CT). "Why lie? I just wanna get laid!" netted a high number of results (62 percent) from women who "live in Gresham," are "420 friendly" and "looking for a generous man." By far, however, the subject line "Why are all the smart girls chubby?" pulled the strongest CT rate (93 percent). The "chubby" ad also produced the most emotional responses, forcing one researcher to move to Longview, Washington and change his name.

Age
Curiously, the younger the advertiser, the older the respondents tended to be. Hence, on average, a 23-year-old male could expect to see his inbox filled with responses from 37-year-old women. Conversely, if the ad stated that the poster was 42, the average age of female respondents was 22. Gunz Metrics dubbed this the "looking for daddy/let me be your mommy" effect.

Content
Researchers also experimented with various content styles and formats, such as a resume style ad with a Romantic Objective, a chronological, bullet-pointed sexual history, and names and telephone numbers of previous romantic partners. Gunz advises against that. Tax statements, health records and proof of divorce were likewise not very helpful. Surprisingly, photos were also a liability. It made no difference whether the researcher posted a picture of his face or his Speedo trunks. CTs held steady at zero percent.

Close Rate
Researchers have not yet closed any transactions, and the honeymoon suite at the Red Lion went largely unused,4 although "closure" was swift and consistent -- and often accompanied by a restraining order (11 percent, obtained by the researchers; 43% obtained by the respondents). After meeting the researchers at the lounge, most respondents (89 percent) excused themselves from the conversation, on average, within seven minutes. Thus, this study indicates that women who meet men via Craigslist almost never finish their margaritas.

Conclusion
What's the takeaway from State of the Craiglist Singles? Researchers are still determining that. You can find them locked in their bedroom at their mother's house preparing a similar study with regard to MSN Chat.5

1 While photographic proof of these eligibility requirements was not required, 17 percent of applicants volunteered such evidence; 62 percent of that group cropped their face out of the picture and 22 percent digitally obscured their face.

2 Chloe/Adrienne/KittyLuvr, you know who you are.

3 It was impossible to determine the exact number of participants. This was due to infiltration from ex-girlfriends, National Security Agency operatives and at least one transvestite.

4 In-room video rental statistics were not considered within the scope of the study.

5 Yolanda -- if you're reading this, I still have that mix tape I promised you! I've tried calling you 327 times, but your phone seems to be disconnected.